Embarrassing Moments

If there is one thing that binds us together, not just as humans, but across species it is the tendency to become embarrassed when we do something noticeably and incredibly wrong.

My cat regularly misjudges the height of the table and kitchen counters and ends up hanging from the edge by her paws looking around for a way to regain her dignity before dropping to the floor in embarrassment. If I am looking she will slink off to recover her self-esteem elsewhere. If she thinks I didn't see she will just try again and make it with no problem.

When she first came to live with me she was entranced by everything around her as she memorized her new home. One day I was sitting on the toilet as she walked across the edge of the sink. She was looking around so much that she walked straight off the edge of the sink. Man was it hard not to laugh at her as she ran off to sulk in the living room for awhile.

Of course I have had my own moments to feel like dying. When I was a kid I was sight seeing with my father in San Francisco. I was trying to take in all the sights and sounds of Fisherman's Wharf when I did a full-body smack into a parking meter. My father just about died laughing and said, "You know you are supposed to leave those where they are!" It took a sizable portion of shrimp from a street vendor to improve my spirits again.

A few years later, when I was in college, I was taking a tap dancing class. Let me make it perfectly clear that, though I enjoy dancing, I am terrible at it. As a final requirement for the course we all had to perform in the spring dance concert. The teacher had worked out a routine for all of us to dance in a chorus line to "That's Entertainment." I was certainly entertaining when, during one performance, I spaced a couple of bars of music and started dancing the wrong part. I did recover and get back with the team, but I was horrified. I asked one of my friends "Do you know what I did?" He looked at me and said, "Did I see what you did? Yes. Do I know what you were doing? NO!" All these years later I still cringe at the memory.

Then there was the time I locked my keys in the car. Okay, I didn't just lock them in the car. I REALLY locked them in the car. I was babysitting a little girl at the time and had taken her with me to the grocery store. We had gotten back to my house and taken the groceries inside. I shut the trunk of my car and discovered that I was stuck fast to the back of my car. Then end of my tunic had stuck fast in the trunk.

I hollered for Erin to find my keys. She came out of the house a couple of minutes later saying that she couldn't find them. In the meantime I HAD found the keys. They were inside the pocket of my tunic which was now locked inside the trunk of the car. What to do?

I had Erin grab my coat from inside the car (naturally the rest of the car was unlocked). As discreetly as I could I slipped out of the tunic and into my coat. I went inside to call a locksmith to come and release my keys from the trunk. I told him my tale and he still insisted on asking, "How will I know which car is yours?" Duh. "It's the car with the blouse hanging off the back."

Some of the funniest things I have ever seen involve animals. Like the poor man who was cleaning out the elephants' pen and has an embarrassing accident:

There was also the elephant who demonstrated that you don't have to be human (or live with humans) to be embarrassed:

Granted, humans are more easily embarrassed than other creatures. We seem to be the only ones with some level of modesty regarding farting. And we get terribly embarrassed about delivering a load of air biscuits at an inopportune moment. We've all done it. We will all do it again. I don't have a specific story for this one even though I know I've done it. Like most people I either excuse myself or, more often, pretend it never happened.

A few weeks ago I was ago I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant with my friend Randi. The place has the best refried beans in the world and I had ordered an extra portion. I made an off-hand comment that I was now likely to blow the cat right off the bed that night. Randi laughed so hard she almost choked to death on her chimichanga.

For writers embarrassing moments are, like so many other moments, the stuff of creativity. They are pure gold. To make characters real they need to have truly human moments and embarrassment is one of the ways our egos are humbled when we get too full of ourselves.

My first book is humor, so the embarrassing is a huge part of what happens to people. It is not just embarrassment, but the way you tell it that makes it funny. Making it funny takes the sting out of it. Making it insulting just makes it nasty. So it depends on your story and your character just which way you are going to go with it.


So, how human are you?

L -- Laurie's Loves

There are things in my life that I truly love and am passionate about. Most people do. Those who say they don't are probably in denial. So here are some of the things I love in life:

My hometown of Boulder, Colorado, is a beautiful city nestled at the foot of the Rocky Mountains. It is a place of great beauty and great diversity. Thoughts and ideas flow fairly freely here. It was once a Mecca for hippies as well as the intellectual elite. It has been home to the likes of Allan Ginsberg and Jello Biafra, and Rick Reilly among

others (I went to school with the latter two). I remember sitting on the playground in grade school, looking up at the Flatirons and wonder how I got so lucky as to have been born into this place.


My cat, Naomi, the current darling of my life. is a quirky and lovable little character. When she came to live with me seven years ago she was an unhappy soul. Whoever had owned her before had played with her too hard and teased her too much. On top of that she had been declawed, leaving her feeling even more vulnerable to such attentions. When I first brought her home she would attack me on a daily basis. Just setting my hand down too close to her would set her

off. You might think that without claws she couldn't do much damage, but she was able to bite of blood with great effect. Most people would give up on such an animal, but when I brought her home it was for good. I kept working with her, making sure that all of my approaches to her were consistent. I resisted any impulses to tease her, even very gently, because I knew she would not take it well. She is now a happy cat, rarely attacks unless I forget myself and touch her belly, likes being pet. We love each other like crazy.

My home and garden. I have a tiny mobile home with a large garden. I live in what is probably the lowest cost place in Boulder. It is tiny, but it is all mine. I love having no other roommate than the cat. I

have lived here for more than 30 years and have slowly built out a sizable garden. People often stop when they see me out there to tell them how much they like my garden. One of my neighbors insists that I am raising fairies here. I don't know about that, but I love having my own supply of strawberries and raspberries each summer, as well as whatever veggies I choose to raise. If I don't spend enough time out there I can count on Naomi to come to the door to beg me to come outside with her.

My car is so old that she is almost a classic but she is just wonderful. Her name is Zsazsa. I adopted her almost 14 years ago after her predecessor committed suicide by throwing itself on a Mustang. That car had no real personality and Zsazsa has tons of it.  I'm just glad that this Zsazsa never even tried to slap a police officer.

I love all the old friends I have been able to reconnect with because of Facebook. They are a wonderful group. Some of us even get together in person once in a while. A couple of these wonderful ladies even came and helped me clean out my mother's apartment last year after she passed away. I love that during that difficult time they helped me keep my laughter.


I love writing. By now people are really getting to know that about me. I decided to become a writer when I was about seven years old. One of my poems was published in the PTA newsletter back then. So I have been working toward that goal ever since. It has never been easy, but it has always been rewarding. I have written just about everything, from magazine fillers to newsletters, and print news articles to professional blogs. My first book is in the process of being edited for publication.

The hardest thing of all in my life has been learning to love myself. I come from a family that was more critical than loving and accepting. It has taken a long time to build up enough self-esteem to feel worthy of having accomplishments such as a home, garden, cat, car, and career. I spent a lot of years convinced I was a failure in ANYTHING, no matter how small, went wrong. Learning to really believe that shit happens and we just have to deal with it as best we can and turn it into fertilizer at the first opportunity. Several people in my life and on my last job were instrumental on helping me get here.


I also love those who come about to read my words. Thank you for your patronage. Without you I would still be a writer, but missing the joy that comes with being able to share what I love with others. Bless you all.