Randomness on Television

I can't believe that it has been more than a year since I last blogged. Therefore I have a lot of little things crowding my mind.

One of the things is that I love watching television. I know it's not PC or cool to admit it, but there you have it. I hate reality shows. They are a mindless wasteland that circumvents the talents of writers, actors, and others who have perfected their crafts to entertain us. I miss the days when there were more shows on that make use of clever and witty dialog delivered with perfection. Oh, yes, there are some that still come to that standard, but they seem so few and far between. Thank God for The Big Bang Theory and reruns of shows like M*A*S*H, Frasier, The Golden Girls, Roseanne, and Barney Miller. These shows helped me hone my writing chops.

On the other hand, there are a couple of reality shows I do watch. Both address issues in my own life and I use them as inspiration. One is The Biggest Loser, even though the quality of the show has dropped as they cut the show from two hours to one hour per episode. I miss getting to know more of the issues facing the contestants as they go on their weight-loss journey and how they deal with them. The other show is Hoarders. I am a low-level hoarder and this show inspires me to clean and organize. Beyond these I don't do reality shows.

Of course, television is currently loaded with the Presidential race. This is at once entertaining and very alarming. The Republicans seem to have made a platform out of pandering to the lowest common denominator among their constituents -- or perhaps even a but below that. Those candidates seem to be actively trying to say the stupidest, most racist, most outrageous things to garner attention. It is almost like watching a group of young boys trying to show off to get the attention of a girl. Then you add Donald Trump's temper tantrums and I suddenly think this is Kindergarten

Not that the Dems don't have their issues, but at least they aren't dipping their toes into racism, misogyny, and hatred. Even those who are attempting to take the high road seem destined to descend into finger pointing.

Is it any wonder that after all of this I sometimes feel the need to take refuge in an episode of Arthur and let my inner child take over for a half an hour? There the biggest enemy is dealing with a few growing pains. What a burden they seemed to be back in the day and yet now we would gladly return. Back then the only presidential election we cared about was whether Mr. Howell or the Skipper would become president of the island.

Republican Misogyny and Equal Pay

I am amazed at how the Republican party continuously manages to sink to new lows in their attempts to pander to the Tea Party on the far right and make it sound plausible. They have gone so far out that if the world really was flat they would have fallen over the edge quite some time ago.

The recent act of congressional Republicans to vote down equal pay for equal work (the Paycheck Fairness Act) -- or more precisely equal pay for women. It was a misogynistic move that should have every woman in the country questioning any Republican values or beliefs they may hold. Why should they be loyal to a group of old white men who don't give a crap about them? Well, they shouldn't.

The Republican party has now sent a very clear message that woman are worth less (read worthless), that all those single mothers out there struggling to pay the bills don't really matter, that women  don't work as hard as men. Most of the women I know work harder than most of the men I know. Women generally put more into their jobs and then go home to run their households and  raise  the kids. While husbands of younger generations are stepping up more than the older ones, there is still a gap when it comes to taking care of home and family.

In the past the argument was made that deserved more pay so that they could support their families. It was a lame argument then and it certainly hasn't improved with age. So now conservative activist Phyllis Schlafly has one again shown that Republican thinking is mired in the past -- the loooooong past.

This dinosaur of a woman trotted out that old idea that a woman who makes more money won't be able to find a husband. This argument is so old that it became fossilized back in the 50s.  Women no longer need to marry for financial security. The vast majority of women marry for love these days. Period.

Let me point out here that not all of us are in the market for a husband. Just like there are confirmed bachelors out there, there are also confirmed spinsters. Not to mention lesbians who also just don't fit this stereotype. Since we have no intention of looking for, let alone finding, a husband. This doesn't even begin to include the fact that more households than ever before are headed by women. By Ms. Schlafly's heavily flawed logic, those of us who are not seeking a husband should then be paid the same as men.

This logic is just as insulting to men since it presupposes them to be insecure jerks who can't handle being considered "real men" without a bigger paycheck. Now if I were looking for a husband I don't think that a man this insecure is exactly the person I would want to have children with, let alone raise children with.

The true measure of a man is not found in the size of a paycheck or penis. It is found in the goodness of his heart, the integrity of his actions, and the fairness of his judgement. Of course, no man is perfect, but he should be able to be confident in his manliness without demeaning a woman.

Schlafly also chose to argue that women don't work as many hours (in my experience they often work more) and insist on a clean, comfortable office among nice people. I assume this means that women are higher maintenance employees than men. I find this a strange argument after all of the years that women have worked, and continue to work in farm fields and sweatshops.

Her bottom line came down to this -- that the best way to empower women is to provide better job prospects for their men. This is another amazingly bizarre twist of logic. It wipes out a good 50 years of women fighting for empowerment. You do not empower someone through someone else. It just doesn't work that way.

I admire women who have stayed at home to raise their children and did not HAVE to work to help pay the mortgage. Should things take a bad turn and these women lose their husbands to divorce or death I want them to be able to make a decent paycheck and not have to scramble to find another man just to survive.

This thinking that a woman is nothing without a man is as outdated as foot binding and corsets. And men deserve a woman who wants to be with him for who he is, not what he can do for her. Men and women are not two halves of a whole. They are two wholes.that compliment one another and create a balance.

A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook saying that after the Republicans voted down the Paycheck Fairness Act she couldn't believe any woman could conscionably vote Republican.  One of my brothers corrected her from woman to human being (I'm so proud of him!). My response was that a human being wouldn't, but a sheep would (my homage to George Orwell).

We should all empower one another, and no one at the expense of someone else. There is enough respect to go around. The Republicans could start with an honest vote and not just voting against hte Democrats. And vice versa.

Source

The Poor on Poverty

There has been an awful lot of talk by Republicans about cutting back on programs that help the poor and so-called "entitlements." These "entitlements" are programs we have paid into for years. "Entitlement" suggests getting something for nothing. People receiving these benefits have all put into the pot the same as everyone else.

Let me back track just a little. I have heard the poor called lazy in these discussions and that is why their benefits to help provide food and a roof over their heads and a chance to see a doctor when sick. These people have the image of the poor just sitting back and raking it in. Having become very poor myself I can attest to the fact that you cannot be poor and lazy at the same time. It just takes waaaaaayyy too much work. Let me illuminate those who aren't knowledgeable:

While looking for a job, keeping home and family together, and the usual daily duties that we have all accumulated, we are also filling out mountains of paperwork to prove that we are poor. This does not just happen once and we are set to go. We have to repeatedly fill out the same paperwork every few months to make sure we are really still poor (this is because of the people who do try to abuse the system -- only about 2% of recipients -= and we rail against them not the system). We have meetings we have to wait for. We are in a constant scramble to figure out where the next bit of help will come from.

We spend hours on the phone trying to unscramble the problems that are bound to occur in making sure that any bureaucratic system is bound to encounter. Paperwork gets misplaced, computers get data entered wrong, and things can get inadvertently over-looked. The people who run these systems are only human and are often overworked since their places of employment are understaffed -- often due to budget cuts.

Medicaid didn't cover some treatment you had been advised that they would, or they changed the rules without telling you and won't approve your prescription for insulin, or dropped you for a couple of months for reasons unknown. While the Internet is loaded with pics of people on food stamps (now SNAP) benefits with fridges loaded with food, the truth is that it doesn't quite cover the total food bill. So we scrounge and spend time getting help from food banks that aren't able to keep up with the demand of additional poor and declining donations. In addition to food, those same benefits do not cover such crucial items as toilet paper, tissues, shampoo, soap, or deodorant.

We spend hours on the phone searching for help in other ways. We call churches and other charitable organizations to find help with rent, car repairs, household repairs, clothing, and so forth. These things are not covered in any way by government programs (some assistance if you have children). I am currently face with a list to see if I can find help purchasing new glasses. Apparently the Medicaid coverage on glasses is so small vendors lose money providing such items. So I must find some place that has a charitable partner to help out.

Instead of waging a war on poverty, the one that started during the Depression, there seems to be a faction out there (primarily Republican) who are out to wage a war on the poor. Most of these people also seem to be Christians. They are Christians who seem to ignore the parts of the Bible where we are encouraged to help the poor. We are taught to have compassion for those less fortunate. However the love and compassion for others for these people only extends to those who don't need help other than a ride to work or when moving.

Let me be clear here. I have been looking for a job for more than two years. I have been hit with a slew of health issues (seven surgeries in six months). And I work everyday. Not just Monday through Friday. I work seven days a week writing for two websites. Since this is freelance, this work is not covered by minimum wage laws. I love writing and doing this work, but it just doesn't pay anywhere close enough to live on. So I keep looking for a job. At least a part time job to help pay the bills minimally. Because of health issues I can't work on my feet or I would be serving up fast food in an instant to get my income going.

Being poor is not some sort of free ride for people who don't want to work. We work. We work hard. For the most part we are people who want a job and will take one if offered. These programs are not an "entitlement." I have paid into them with my tax dollars for over 30 years. They are not an "entitlement," they are a safety net for when things go south. Thank God it is there. And thank God most of you will never need to use it.

I don't ask for pity. I ask for respect and to not be judged adversely just because I have hit a REALLY rough patch in my life. We need these programs and NOT for lazy people. If I hear anyone calling the poor lazy again I am going to have to take them out (verbally).

Jaws -- The Weight-Loss Dilemma

The whole country from news anchors to late night comedians have been giving New Jersey governor Chris Christie a hard time about having Lapband surgery to lose weight. These were the same people who were giving him a hard time for being overweight in the first place. Skinny people just don't get it and that is an American tragedy because there are fewer skinny people every day in this country.

I've been through much of the same thing. I have been overweight almost my entire life. The last argument I remember my parents having before they separated was about whether I was getting fat or not. I was only seven. And I may as well have been invisible. It was as though they were discussing a piece of furniture than needed refinishing.

I spent years being criticized for my weight. Ironically, the more I was picked on for the fat, the fatter I got. This was because I had picked up the habit of eating to comfort myself when I felt miserable -- and I felt miserable most of the time.

My father and stepmother picked on me a great deal about my weight. In college I asked for an extra $9 to be able to take an extra dance class. They were very tight about money and freaked out all over me and denied my request in no uncertain and not very kind terms. After I left the room one of my step-brothers gave them some grief in return. He pointed out that they were always on my case to exercise more but they weren't at all willing to back it up with actions to support me doing what they wanted. I ended up with my $9 and my dance class. I lost 25 pounds that school year.

That single act of support did not change my life. The support began and ended there. So that particular portion of my weight-loss journey was short-lived. From there I ended up diving headlong into years of eating disorders. The first being anorexia, followed by bulimia. Years of therapy helped me emerge from that particular self-destructive behavior.

Years later I ended up in a bad job situation where I was constantly being undermined and at the same time started having thyroid problems at the same time. After years of fairly stable, though still obese, weight, I started gaining weight again. I went on a special weight-loss program that my doctor got me a scholarship for and managed to gain weight while on the diet.

My health deteriorated and I was losing my ability to move. I couldn't hold down a job when I couldn't make it from my car into a building. It was taking all I could do to get from my house into my car which was only the matter of about 12 to 15 feet. Because of my thyroid issues (Grave's Disease) I was not only gaining weight, I was losing muscle.

Like Governor Christie I finally decided that I had to go drastic to save my life. I, too, had Lapband surgery. Not everyone was thrilled with my decision. There is a public perception that reaching this point in your life is a personal failure -- that somehow you are less of a person because you weren't able to just lose the weight. This perceptions persists in spite of the fact that diets succeed less than 2% of the time. They have a horrible track record.

It is no wonder that Christie kept his surgery a secret. Who wants to be judged as a failure when trying to do the right thing for themselves and their loved ones? The procedure is not a guarantee of success, either. I just hope that he has a larger number of people supporting him than I did. Emotional support means a lot.

BTW, "support" does NOT mean monitoring and judging every piece of food that goes into the person's mouth. Weight loss can be hampered just as much by eating too little as by eating too much. Support is loving the person and demonstrating that love whenever possible. Find out from them what you can do to assist in their journey. Chances are they are now on a diet you may not understand.

I lost weight afterwards, though not as much as I would have liked thanks to my wonky thyroid which quickly went too low after surgery. However, I lost enough weight to get myself mobile and able to work again, which was my primary goal in having the surgery. I still struggle every day. I still have a huge amount of weight to lose.

Governor Christie still has a struggle ahead of him. This is not magic, it is a tool. Years later I still cannot eat as much as I used to. So I still have the benefit of the band helping me limit my intake, but I still also hit times when I engage in emotional eating and times when I want to forget about diets and just eat Christmas dinner.

So, instead of making fun of him or expecting him to fail, become a part of this cheering squad. He has taken a big, really scary step in the right direction.

Integrity -- On the Brink of Extinction?

It seems that personal integrity is becoming less and less important to the people of this country. Case in point -- the people of South Carolina voting former governor Mark Sanford back into public office despite his lack of integrity in dealing with his affair with a woman in Argentina. The man had made a joke of his office, his state, and his marriage, and yet the people would rather vote for this Republican with a total lack of integrity than take a chance on the upstanding Elizabeth Colbert Busch because she is a Democrat

Can you really trust Mark Sanford? Let me put it this way: Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. If I were that Argentinian fiancee of his I wouldn't trust him for a moment.

Much of our politicians, both Democrats and Republicans, seem to have ditched any sense of integrity whatsoever.

For many years the Republicans gleefully espoused the lack of fidelity and family values of the Democrats and one Dem after another was caught in a compromising situation. They were keen to paint themselves as the party supporting the "disappearing" family values.

And that was great -- right up until the truth caught up with them. Wow, it turns out that they have just as much trouble keeping their trousers zipped as the Democrats! Who would have guessed that this is an issue of humans in power and NOT a partisan issue?

This same "family values" party is also the party that wants to get rid of many programs that support women and children. It is a party plagued with misogynistic and racist white men and yet they can't figure out why their party is on the critical list.

Both sides should be ashamed of selling out their integrity to the overly-powerful gun lobby to not strengthen background checks for gun purchases to include gun shows and private sales. Despite what Republicans and gun enthusiasts want everyone to believe, this is NOT an attempt to deny any law-abiding citizens the right to bear arms. It IS an attempt to weed out some of the not-so-law-abiding citizens from having this particular avenue to get guns. The majority of their constituencies were for this law.

Both sides of the aisle have some culpability in the fact that the budget still hangs in limbo. There are items that the military would have liked to cut to save money, but Congress insisted that those programs remain intact, no doubt because they affected programs the politicians treasured.

Some Republicans have openly declared that they will block any ideas or plans that come from the Democrats -- especially from President Obama. This is partisan politics at its worst. Congress has been holding the American people hostage to support their petty bickering.

Politicians have devolved into spending all of their time worrying about getting re-elected and playing to that rather than getting down to the work they were elected to do in the first place. The rest of us working stiff would have been fired from our jobs long ago if we were sporting this kind of job performance.

Here's an idea: stop blaming Obama for being ineffective when you block him at every turn, pull yourselves out of the lobbyists pockets, stop blaming the poor for being poor, keep support programs in place, tax the rich equitably, be fair, be honest, don't wag the dog with issues like abortion, "birther" red herrings, and gay marriage, and, most of all, start being for all the people you are there to represent.

Take back your integrity and own it. In my opinion that would go far further in getting you re-elected than a boat-load of campaign rhetoric. We're worth it